9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
