there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
