YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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