I smell stomach acid.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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