You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
