just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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