so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
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