i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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