Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Say something about gay babies.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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