Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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