THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
