im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize