i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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