If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
