Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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