I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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