WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
