ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize