This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize