ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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