I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
