false alarm. still invincible.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
