So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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