handjob tips. give me some.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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