it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
