youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
