I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
