So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
