Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
