I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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