I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
