Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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