How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
