she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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