his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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