your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Buhtt sex?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
