So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
