glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
