How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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