did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
