she was so not down for the gang bang
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
