Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
