Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
