Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
