weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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