I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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