Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Couch. On fire.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
