We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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