Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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