Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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