id be glad to
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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