Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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