Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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