is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
