You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
