Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
