forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
