dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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