I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm both gender and math confused
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
