Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
