I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
