This is not my ceiling
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
