It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
