True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
