we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
