they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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