You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
