i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
