Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
