he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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