dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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