We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
