Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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