the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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