Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Randomize
