We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize